This is the third and final post of articles by Doug Clark. Enjoy. In my previous articles I mentioned that when I was in Southern California coaching at UC Irvine, where we had top 16 NCAA teams and top 5 NCAA players (with even one team with all of my top six players ranked in singles or doubles one time), we had significant media coverage–TV, newspaper, radio, etc. (And for you younger folk, there was no FaceBook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. Yes, they have not always existed. In fact, I remember helping design the first websites for our team as they had not been done yet for the athletic department programs. That now seems archaic doesn’t it). But none of that exposure was as humorous as the articles that Spokesman Review columnist legend Doug Clark wrote. This article I am posting pertains to Doug participating in an exhibition match for a collegiate tournament I directed. Enjoy. Humor is good for the soul.
Doug Clark: For a tennis player, I can be pretty quick with a keyboard
Tue., Sept. 30, 2014
By Doug Clark
(509) 459-5432
Two scattered thoughts for a Tuesday:
THOUGHT ONE – Proving my lack of judgment, I showed up at the Eastern Washington University tennis courts Sunday morning and played an exhibition doubles match with Steve Clark, no relation, who coaches the men’s team for my alma mater.
Having me play would add an element of comic theater to the finals of the EWU Fall Classic tennis tournament, Clark thought.
I don’t know if the players participating in the tournament bought into this.
“This is painful,” one of them was heard to mutter from the stands during our faux match.
It almost didn’t get that far.
Shortly after arriving, I had sufficient cause to back out after seeing what Clark had brought for me to wear.
It was a baseball catcher’s outfit complete with facemask, chest pad and those articulated leg protectors that make all catchers look related to crustaceans.
Then I started thinking about how hard Clark can hit a tennis ball and considered wearing the outfit, just in case.
Unfortunately, I could tell that this garb would not only impair my fuzzy vision, but make my already sluggish court movement even more glacial. So I left it on the bench.
The good news is that I survived. Plus the EWU courts are pretty cool with their new logo windscreens and ’80s rock blasting out of speakers.
Clark and I played two sets against Eduardo “Lalo” Martinez, who plays on the EWU team, and Esteban Rodriguez, an electrical engineering professor with a wicked serve and warm sense of humor.
They beat us 6-2 the first set.
Clark and I won the second (and final) set by the same amount.
I’m suspicious, however, that the coach might have ordered our foes to take it easier on the old guy.
After the dust settled, I asked Clark for an honest analysis of my big weapon.
“You make people laugh.”
I was talking about my forehand. Besides, how is making people laugh a tennis weapon?
Players, he added, “have a hard time concentrating and swinging correctly.”
Brother. I may learn to drink and take up bowling.
THOUGHT TWO – (he went on to talk about politics etc..funny but not pertinent to his humor above)
If you want the original Spokesman ReviewR link click here.